Welcome to the Springfield Retirement Castle!

Has this got something to do with telephones? In my day, we didn't call them telephones, we called them electric shouters. And we didn't use our hands to dial numbers, we used our feet instead, 'cause the dialer sat on the floor. "Toe me up!" you'd say, when you wanted someone to call you, or "Gimme a toe!" you'd tell yer friend. And we didn't have "phone directories" or computers, or decent evening gowns-- you were on your own. Which reminds me of the day back in the summer of '21 when I needed to go into town for a pair of pliers, which were made out of pig entrails at the time. Now, there were four places in town that sold swine clamps, as they were called. There was Sal's...

Shut yer trap, Abe. This here's your telephone book, with all the numbers that have appeared on the show. Where's my name?

You only live a few doors down!

Yea, I guess yer right. Now where's the daily word jumble?


Homer
Dr. Hibbert
Dr. Nick
Mayor's Office
Mayor's Fax #
Jail Bail #
Vigilant Viewer Hotline
Stonecutters Emergency
Marvin Monroe
M.M. Radio Show
Channel 6 Comsumer Alert #
Moe's Bar
Flander's House
Edna Krabappel
Private Burns (work)
Krusty Doll Hotline
Krusty Cereal Hotline
Prof. Frink
Barney Gumble
Big Brothers Hotline
NY Car Boot Number
KL5-3226
555-3642
555-NICK
(288)555-9090
555-9091
1-800-555-SKIP
1-800-U-SQUEAL
912
1-800-555-HUGS
555-PAIN
555-6425
764-8437
555-8904
555-6832
555-0001
1-800-DONT-SUE
1-909-O-U-KLOWN
555-5782
KL5-4996
KL5-2337
(212)555-BOOT